WHAT IS IT?
In a nutshell, Orgasmic Meditation (A.K.A. OM) is a 15 minute partnered practice where a stroker (typically a man) strokes the upper left hand quadrant of a woman’s clitoris. Both partners put their attention on the point of contact and learn to feel and be with any sensations that arise. There is no goal. For me it changed my entire relationship to women, and to a larger extent, the feminine.
WHATS IT LIKE?
Through this practice, I was starting to FEEL the women I was with. I mean, I would feel their orgasm… in my body. It happened rather quickly after my 3rd or 4th time doing it. In my everyday connections, I also started to feel what was really going on. I could follow each subtle shift in feeling. I could respond to it. And I learned how to play with her – on her turf, rather than needing her to come over to mine.
This level of feeling would never have been possible had I not learned OM. I would never have known what felt good and what didn’t. My locus of connection was inside of my ideas of fairness, equality and right and wrong. If I gave her pleasure, she had to give me pleasure back (often whether or not it felt good to either of us).
About two years ago, I went to San Francisco to learn OM. I didn’t quite know why but I watched a very peculiar TEDx talk by a woman called Nicole Daedone. She was teaching female orgasm. This was surprising to me because she was not a man teaching a woman how to use her body (as is so often the case). She talked about a powerful form of connection that I had only dreamt of and never knew possible. A kind of emotional Jedi power where people could feel connected to themselves and each other. A meditation that could strengthen our ability to feel each other. Pretty cool.
You see, as a man I had grown up with an expectation to be strong, stoic and solid for a woman, whilst at the same time having the sensitivity to be able to touch her in exactly the spot she wanted me to. It was an impossible combination that I was never going to learn but for the embarrassing humility I had to arrive at to admit “I want to know how to do this, I need help”. I started to learn something I never thought I would: how to feel.
And although I occasionally think to myself “Well this is a little strange”, even after two years of practice, I think for the first time ever I have begun to appreciate and, dare I say it, understand a woman’s ride. Whether in work, sex or play, it has been one of the most nourishing rides I’ve ever been on.
Picture the scene; I’m lying on a couch with a woman I had a crush on. We had just had a little smooch and were just winding down. Sex was not really on the cards, but it felt good between us. As we are lying there, she starts to stroke my arm. After about 20 seconds of this, something feels off. I can’t quite say what, but all of a sudden a voice pops into my head that says “She doesn’t want to be stroking my arm right now”. After another minute of this, lying there awkwardly, I start to feel myself disconnect. The truth of this seemingly innocent arm stroking got louder and louder. Finally I said “Do you even want to stroke my arm right now?” She turns to me, puzzled, stops and then says “No, actually I don’t”. She removes her arm and playfully pushes me away. Suddenly, we feel connected again.
One thing became clear for me that night on the couch. We had, as a culture, educated women to forego surrender and act as pleasure givers. Not only in relationships, but also in life. The problem was that we could not feel. As a man, I had never gotten the chance to enjoy sympathetic pleasure (the pleasure one gets from giving pleasure). It had always been a trade. I had never truly shared an experience with a woman because my connections were commerce-based and my needs had to be balanced with hers.
HOW CAN I TRY IT?
We say that Truth is Verbal Orgasm. So we designed a night called TurnON where people can experience the feeling of Orgasmic Meditation in their bodies, but without taking any clothes off. You come along, you get truthful and honest about anything from sex to relationships and deeper intimacy, and you have the experience of connection that is available in Orgasmic Meditation.
We also teach Orgasmic Meditation in classes or private training. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
About the author: Marc Quinn is a web designer turned female orgasm trainer. He is on this earth to help birth more feminine into the world and believes Orgasmic Meditation will rock your world.
You can find out more about TurnON and OM on the TurnON Britain website.